Members of the academic community! Thank you all for attending today痴 momentous announcement.
As many of you know, I am a scholar of history first and foremost and my research into the history of science, particularly the history of theoretical physics, was never intended to create controversy. Rather, it has been a pursuit for the truth. And if the truth turns out to be controversial, what can any of us do but to reveal it? For the truth may shock us, indeed it may appall us, but eventually, we will accept it because in the end, the truth is beautiful. I知 sure the scientists whose lives I have studied, would feel no different than I do today.
Ladies and gentlemen! In the last few weeks, I have uncovered undeniable proof that, no less a man than Albert Einstein himself was an anime fan! Yes, horrifying, but true!
In my research, I uncovered a paper in which Einstein wrote about the Special Theory of Anime Relativity. This paper was written long before his three famous papers published in 1905, which turned the world of physics on its ear and gave birth to the new age of modern theoretical physics. As far as I can determine, Einstein wrote his Special Theory of Anime Relativity in his early adolescence just as he began to question the very nature of time, which started him down the road toward destiny. We might hypothesize, then, that anime was the seed of Einstein痴 genius.
I present here evidence of the existence of an earlier work by Einstein which describes the Special Theory of Anime Relativity.
Einstein said that the entire anime-universe can be characterized from two, fundamental axioms. They are:

	1.	There is no absolute frame of anime reference. No single anime is preferred over another.
	2.	Pure otaku-bodies move at the speed of light, which is a constant, upper-limiting speed.

Let us consider two "thought experiments" which will imply the reality of the above two axioms, since we will be able to characterize the anime-world as we observe it.

Experiment One.
Suppose we have two anime fans. Fan1 is an obsessive DRAGONBALL fan, while Fan2 is an obsessive SAILOR MOON fan. Further suppose that Fan1 and Fan2 comprise the entire universe.
If left to themselves, Fan1 and Fan2 will begin to argue over which of the two anime is superior to the other. Regardless of the level of fanaticism, the argument will quickly escalate into a "holy war" and eventually, Fan1 and Fan2 will collide and annihilate each other and the universe will be completely empty.
Now, by induction, we consider the more general case where we have N number of anime shows and N number of Fans with one fan corresponding to each anime. Then, if Fan1, Fan2 ... FanN are all placed into the same universe, we could conclude that they would all collide and annihilate each other just as in the earlier case of two fans resulting in an empty universe once again. Therefore, since we know that the universe will be empty whenever two or more anime exist, this implies that no single anime is preferred over another! If one anime was preferred over another, then the universe would always reduce down to one anime fan left alive, but we do not observe this in the physical world.
Therefore, the first axiom is reasonable: that there is no reference anime. This assumption goes against the previous anime theory in which throngs of fans converge annually at conventions to cast ballots over which anime should be ensconced as the reference anime against which all other anime will be judged. Axiom 1 provides peace, at last, to the endless debate and says that all anime are relevant.